美文賞析:What will matter
人的一生什么才是最重要的？我們一直在思考著。過一種有意義的生活不是一件偶然的事情，那不是環(huán)境的問題，而是選擇的問題。
What will matter?
什么才重要？
Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end. There will be no more sunrises, no days, no hours or minutes. All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten, will pass to someone else.
無論是否準(zhǔn)備好，總有一天它都會(huì)走到盡頭。 那里沒有日出，沒有白天，沒有小時(shí)和分鐘。 你收集的所有東西，不管你珍惜或忘記與否，它們都將流入他人手中。
Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance. It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.
不管是你得到的或是你欠別人的，可你的財(cái)產(chǎn)、名譽(yù)和權(quán)勢(shì)也都會(huì)變成和你毫不相干的東西。
Your grudges, resentments, frustrations, and jealousies will finally disappear.
你的怨恨、憤慨、挫折和妒忌最終也將消失。
So, too, your hopes, ambitions, plans, and to-do lists will all expire.The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.
因此，你的希望、抱負(fù)、計(jì)劃以及行動(dòng)日程表也將全部結(jié)束。 當(dāng)初看得比較重的成功得失也會(huì)消失。
It won't matter where you came from, or on what side of the tracks you lived.
你來自何方，住在窮人區(qū)還是富人區(qū)也都不重要了。
It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant. Your gender, skin color, ethnicity will be irrelevant.
你昔日的漂亮與輝煌也都不重要了，你的性別、膚色、種族地位也將消失。
So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?
因此，什么重要呢？ 怎么衡量你有生之年的價(jià)值呢？
What will matter is not what you bought, but what you built; not what you got, but what you gave.
重要的不是你買了什么，而是你創(chuàng)造了什么； 不是你得到了什么，而是你給予了什么。
What will matter is not your success, but your significance.
重要的不是你成功了，而是你生命的意義。
What will matter is not what you learned, but what you taught.
重要的不是你學(xué)到了什么，而是你傳授了什么。
What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage and sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.
重要的是每個(gè)行動(dòng)之中都有正直和勇氣的氣概，偉大的同情心和犧牲精神，并且鼓勵(lì)他人遵從榜樣。
What will matter is not your competence, but your character.
重要的不是你的能力，而是你的性格。
What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you're gone.
重要的不是你認(rèn)識(shí)多少人，而是在你離開后，別人會(huì)認(rèn)為是個(gè)永遠(yuǎn)的損失。
What will matter is not your memories, but the memories of those who loved you.
重要的不是你想念誰，而是愛你的人想念你。
What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.
重要的是別人會(huì)記你多長時(shí)間，誰記著你，為什么記著你。
Living a life that matters doesn’ t happen by accident.
過一種有意義的生活不是一件偶然的事情。
It s not a matter of circumstance but of choice.
那不是環(huán)境的問題，而是選擇的問題。
Choose to live a life that matters.
選擇有意義的人生吧！
美文欣賞:你可以選擇自己想過的生活
Occasionally, life can be undeniably, impossibly difficult. We are faced with challenges and events that can seem overwhelming, life-destroying to the point where it may be hard to decide whether to keep going. But you always have a choice. Jessica Heslop shares her powerful, inspiring journey from the worst times in her life to the new life she has created for herself:
生活有時(shí)候困難得難以置信，但又不容置疑。我們面臨的挑戰(zhàn)與困境似乎無法抵御，試圖毀滅我們生活，甚至使你猶疑是否繼續(xù)走下去。但是你總有選擇的余地。從人生低谷走向新生活的杰西卡·赫斯樂普，在這里與我們分享她啟迪心靈、充滿震撼力的生活之旅。
In 2012 I had the worst year of my life.
2012年是我生活中最艱難的一年。
I worked in a finance job that I hated and I lived in a concrete jungle city with little greenery. I occupied my time with meaningless relationships and spent copious quantities of money on superficialities. I was searching for happiness and had no idea where to find it.
我做著討厭的財(cái)務(wù)工作，住在難尋綠色的高樓林立的城市。我忙于無意義的交往，在一些膚淺表面的東西上大筆開銷。我尋找快樂，卻又不知道它在哪里。
Then I fell ill with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) and became virtually bed bound. I had to quit my job and subsequently was left with no income. I lived with my boyfriend of then only 3 months who financially supported me and our relationship was put under great pressure. I eventually regained my physical health, but not long after that I got a call from my family at home to say that my father’s cancer had fiercely progressed and that he had been admitted to a hospice.
然后我患上了慢性疲勞綜合癥，幾乎到了臥床不起的地步。我不得不辭掉工作，同時(shí)也就斷了財(cái)源。我和那時(shí)僅相處了3個(gè)月的男友住在一起，經(jīng)濟(jì)上完全依賴于他，我們的關(guān)系承受著巨大壓力。終于我恢復(fù)健康，但不久，我接到家里的電話，父親的癌癥急劇惡化，已經(jīng)住進(jìn)了臨終關(guān)懷中心。
I left the city and I went home to be with him.
我離開了城市，回家陪父親。
He died 6 months later.
6個(gè)月之后，他去世了。
My father was a complete inspiration to me. He was always so strong that, for a minute after he drew his last breath, I honestly thought he would come back to life. I couldn’t believe I would never again cuddle into his big warm chest and feel safe no matter what.
父親的事讓我徹底清醒。他一直很強(qiáng)壯，在他咽氣之后一分鐘里，我真的認(rèn)為，他會(huì)活過來。我不能相信，我再也不能依偎在他溫暖的懷抱里，享受他寬大的胸懷帶給我的安全感。
The grief that followed was intense for all of us 5 children and our mother, but we had each other.
母親和我們5個(gè)兄弟姐妹極為難過，但至少我們還擁有彼此。
But my oldest sister at that time complained of a bad back. It got so bad after 2 months that she too was admitted to hospital.
但是，那時(shí)我大姐開始抱怨著背痛，2個(gè)月后，因疼痛加劇也住進(jìn)了醫(yī)院。
They discovered that she had highly advanced cancer in her bones and that there was nothing that they could do.
醫(yī)生們檢查發(fā)現(xiàn)，她已是骨癌晚期，對(duì)此他們已無能為力。
She died 1 month later.
1個(gè)月之后，她也走了。
I could never put into words the loss of my sister in my life.
大姐的逝去讓我陷入難以形容的痛苦之中。
She was a walking, talking angel and my favourite person in the whole world. If someone could have asked me the worst thing that could ever happen, it would have been losing her.
在這個(gè)世界上，她是一個(gè)能走路、會(huì)說話的天使，我最喜歡的人。如果有人問我，世界上發(fā)生的最壞的事情是什么，那就是失去她。
She was my soul-mate and I never thought I would journey this lifetime without her.
她是我的靈魂伴侶，我從來沒有想過，我會(huì)走過沒有她陪伴的生命旅程。
The Moment Of Deliberate Choice
抉擇時(shí)刻
The shock and extreme heart break brought me to my knees. The pain was so great and my world just looked desolate. I had no real home, no money, no job, and no friends that cared. Not one person had even sent me a sympathy card for my loss.
我被打擊和極度的心痛擊挎了。強(qiáng)烈的痛苦使世界在我眼中變得如此凄涼。我沒有真正意義上的家，沒有錢，沒有工作，也沒有關(guān)心我的朋友。沒有一個(gè)人因我失去親人而寄給我慰問卡。
I made an attempt of my own life and I ended up in hospital.
我嘗試著活下去，結(jié)果住進(jìn)了醫(yī)院。
I remember lying in the hospital bed, looking up at the ceiling and seeing my sister’s beautiful face. She stayed with me all night long.
我記得，躺在病床上，看著天花板，看到姐姐美麗的面龐。她整夜守候著我。
I realised during that night that I had a choice. I could choose to end my life or I could choose to live it.
那天晚上，我意識(shí)到我可以選擇。要么結(jié)束生命，要么活下去。
I looked in my sister’s eyes and I made a decision not to go with her just yet. That I would stay and complete my journey here.
望著姐姐的眼睛，我決定不跟她走。我要留下來，走完我的生命旅程。
I also made the decision that, I wouldn’t just live any life. I would live the life that I absolutely LOVE and nothing less.
同時(shí)，我還決定，不只為生活而生活，我要完全以自己想要的方式生活。
In that moment, the clarity that descended around me was like a light shining in a dark room for the first time. As if the earth’s plates had shifted under my feet and everything suddenly looked real for the first time.
在那一刻，這一想法第一次清晰得如同一盞在黑暗閃爍的明燈。好像腳下的地球版塊變換了，每一樣?xùn)|西在我眼前都真實(shí)得前所未有。
美文賞析:打開心門擁抱生活
We often close ourselves off when traumatic events happen in our lives; instead of letting the world soften us, we let it drive us deeper into ourselves. We try to deflect the hurt and pain by pretending it doesn’t exist, but although we can try this all we want, in the end, we can’t hide from ourselves. We need to learn to open our hearts to the potentials of life and let the world soften us.
生活發(fā)生不幸時(shí)，我們常常會(huì)關(guān)上心門；世界不僅沒能慰藉我們，反倒使我們更加消沉。我們假裝一切仿佛都不曾發(fā)生，以此試圖忘卻傷痛，可就算隱藏得再好，最終也還是騙不了自己。既然如此，何不嘗試打開心門，擁抱生活中的各種可能，讓世界感化我們呢？
Whenever we start to let our fears and seriousness get the best of us, we should take a step back and re-evaluate our behavior. The items listed below are six ways you can open your heart more fully and completely.
當(dāng)恐懼與焦慮來襲時(shí)，我們應(yīng)該退后一步，重新反思自己的言行。下面六個(gè)方法有助于你更完滿透徹地敞開心扉。
1. Breathe into pain
直面痛苦
Whenever a painful situation arises in your life, try to embrace it instead of running away or trying to mask the hurt. When the sadness strikes, take a deep breath and lean into it. When we run away from sadness that’s unfolding in our lives, it gets stronger and more real. We take an emotion that’s fleeting and make it a solid event, instead of something that passes through us.
當(dāng)生活中出現(xiàn)痛苦的事情時(shí)，別再逃跑或隱藏痛苦，試著擁抱它吧；當(dāng)悲傷來襲時(shí)，試著深呼吸，然后直面它。如果我們一味逃避生活中的悲傷，悲傷只會(huì)變得更強(qiáng)烈更真實(shí)——悲傷原本只是稍縱即逝的情緒，我們卻固執(zhí)地耿耿于懷。
By utilizing our breath we soften our experiences. If we dam them up, our lives will stagnate, but when we keep them flowing, we allow more newness and greater experiences to blossom.
深呼吸能減緩我們的感受。屏住呼吸，生活停滯；呼出呼吸，更多新奇與經(jīng)歷又將拉開序幕。
2. Embrace the uncomfortable
擁抱不安
We all know what that twinge of anxiety feels like. We know how fear feels in our bodies: the tension in our necks, the tightness in our stomachs, etc. We can practice leaning into these feelings of discomfort and let them show us where we need to go.
我們都經(jīng)歷過焦灼的煎熬感，也都感受過恐懼造成的生理反應(yīng)：脖子僵硬、胃酸翻騰。其實(shí)，我們有能力面對(duì)這些痛苦的感受，從中領(lǐng)悟到出路。
The initial impulse is to run away — to try and suppress these feelings by not acknowledging them. When we do this, we close ourselves off to the parts of our lives that we need to experience most. The next time you have this feeling of being truly uncomfortable, do yourself a favor and lean into the feeling. Act in spite of the fear.
我們的第一反應(yīng)總是逃避——以為否認(rèn)不安情緒的存在就能萬事大吉，可這也恰好妨礙了我們經(jīng)歷最需要的生活體驗(yàn)。下次感到不安時(shí)，不管有多害怕，也請(qǐng)?jiān)囍赂颐鎸?duì)吧。
3. Ask your heart what it wants
傾聽內(nèi)心
We’re often confused at the next step to take, making pros and cons lists until our eyes bleed and our brains are sore. Instead of always taking this approach, what if we engaged a new part of ourselves that isn’t usually involved in the decision making process?
我們常對(duì)未來猶疑不定，反復(fù)考慮利弊直到身心俱疲。與其一味顧慮重重，不如從局外人的角度看待決策之事。
I know we’ve all felt decisions or actions that we had to take simply due to our “gut” impulses: when asked, we can’t explain the reasons behind doing so — just a deep knowing that it had to get done. This instinct is the part of ourselves we’re approaching for answers.
其實(shí)很多決定或行動(dòng)都是我們一念之間的結(jié)果：要是追問原因的話，恐怕我們自己也道不清說不明，只是感到直覺如此罷了。而這種直覺恰好是我們探索結(jié)果的潛在自我。
To start this process, take few deep breaths then ask, “Heart, what decision should I make here? What action feels the most right?”
開始前先做幾次深呼吸，問自己：“內(nèi)心認(rèn)為該做什么樣的決定呢？覺得采取哪個(gè)方案最恰當(dāng)？”
See what comes up, then engage and evaluate the outcome.
看看自己的內(nèi)心反應(yīng)如何，然后全力以赴、靜待結(jié)果吧。
美文賞析:生活中你錯(cuò)過了什么？
In this life, what did you miss?
在生活中，你錯(cuò)過了什么？
The wife asked the husband when she was 25. Despondently, the husband replied: 'I missed a new job opportunity.'
妻子25歲的時(shí)候這樣問丈夫。丈夫沮喪地回答：“我錯(cuò)過了一個(gè)新的工作機(jī)會(huì)。”
When she was 35, the husband angrily told her that he had just missed the bus.
35歲時(shí)，丈夫生氣地說他錯(cuò)過了公交車。
At 45, the husband sadly said: 'I missed the oppotunity seeing my closed relative before his last breath.'
45歲時(shí)，丈夫悲傷地說：“我錯(cuò)過了見至親最后一面的機(jī)會(huì)。”
At 55, the husband said disappointingly: 'I missed a good chance to retire.'
55歲時(shí)，丈夫失望地說：“我錯(cuò)過了一個(gè)退休的好機(jī)會(huì)�！�
At 65, the husband hurriedly replied: 'I missed a dental appointment.'
65歲時(shí)，丈夫匆匆地回答：“我錯(cuò)過了和牙醫(yī)的預(yù)約�！�
At 75, the wife did not ask the husband anymore, the husband was kneeling in front of the very sick wife. Remembering the question the wife used to ask him, this time he asked the wife the same question. The wife, with a smile and peaceful look, replied: 'In this life, I did not miss having you!'
75歲，妻子不再問丈夫同樣的問題，丈夫跪在病重的妻子面前，想起以前妻子常常問起的那個(gè)問題，這次他也問了妻子同樣的問題，妻子笑了笑，一臉平靜地說：“我這一生，沒有錯(cuò)過你！”
The husband was full of tears. He always thought that they could be together forever. He was always busy with work and trifles. So much so he had never been thoughtful to his wife. The husband hugged the wife tightly and said: 'Over 50 years, how I had allowed myself to miss your deep love for me.'
丈夫滿眼淚水，他總是認(rèn)為可以和妻子白頭到老，于是總是忙于工作和瑣事，從沒在意過妻子。他緊緊地抱住妻子說：“這50多年來，我怎么能允許自己錯(cuò)過了你對(duì)我的愛呢�！�
In the busy city life, there are many people who are always busy with work. These people revolve their lives around their jobs, these people sacrifice all their times and health to meet the social expectations. They are unwilling to spend times on health care. They miss the opportunity to be with their children in their growing up. They neglect the loved ones who care for them, and also their health.
在繁忙的城市生活中，有人總是忙于工作。他們整天圍著工作轉(zhuǎn)，甚至為了達(dá)到社會(huì)的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，犧牲了自己的健康。他們不愿花時(shí)間來關(guān)注自己的健康，在孩子成長的過程中錯(cuò)失了與之共享天倫之樂的機(jī)會(huì)。他們忽視了那些關(guān)心他們的.人，以及他們的健康。
Nobody knows what is going to happen one year from now.
沒有人知道一年后會(huì)發(fā)生什么事情。
Life is not permanent, so always live in the now. Express your gratitude to your loved ones in words. Show your care with actions. Treat everyday as the last episode of life. In this way, when you are gone, you loved ones would have nothing to feel sorry about.
生命不是永恒的，所以活在當(dāng)下吧。把你對(duì)愛人的感謝說出來，用行動(dòng)證明你關(guān)心他們。把每一天當(dāng)作人生的最后一個(gè)篇章，只有這樣，當(dāng)你離開時(shí)，你愛的人們才會(huì)沒有遺憾。
美文賞析:去經(jīng)歷去體驗(yàn) 做最好最真實(shí)的自己
Truly happy and successful people get that way by becoming the best, most genuine version of themselves they can be. Not on the outside--on the inside. It's not about a brand, a reputation, a persona. It's about reality. Who you really are.
真正快樂成功的人會(huì)長成最好最真實(shí)的自己——從內(nèi)心而非外表上。重要的不是品牌、名譽(yù)或者外表形象，而是真實(shí)的自我。
Sounds simple, I know. It is a simple concept. The problem is, it's very hard to do, it takes a lot of work, and it can take a lifetime to figure it out.
道理很簡單，講出來也很容易。但問題是，做起來就不簡單了：這需要付諸很多努力，甚或一輩子才能實(shí)現(xiàn)。
Nothing worth doing in life is ever easy. If you want to do great work, it's going to take a lot of hard work to do it. And you're going to have to break out of your comfort zone and take some chances that will scare the crap out of you.
需要窮盡畢生精力的事情必定不容易。成大事者必先苦其心志。因此，你必須走出舒適區(qū)，去經(jīng)歷、去體驗(yàn)?zāi)切⿻?huì)讓你害怕的機(jī)會(huì)。
But you know, I can't think of a better way to spend your life. I mean, what's life for if not finding yourself and trying to become the best, most genuine version of you that you can be?
況且，人這一輩子，若到頭來都認(rèn)不清自己、未能長成最好最真實(shí)的自己，還有什么意義呢？
That's what Steve Jobs meant when he said this at a Stanford University commencement speech:
正如史蒂夫-喬布斯在斯坦福大學(xué)的畢業(yè)典禮上所言：
Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice.
時(shí)間寶貴，不要虛擲光陰過著他人的生活。不要讓周遭的聒噪言論蒙蔽你內(nèi)心的聲音。
You have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something--your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
你要相信，生活中的偶然冥冥中也能指引未來。你要心懷信念——相信你的直覺、命運(yùn)、生活抑或因緣。這個(gè)方法一直給我力量，促使我過得卓然不同。
The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle.
成大事的唯一途徑就是做自己喜歡的事情。若你還沒找到，那就繼續(xù)追尋吧，不要停下來。
Now, let's for a moment be realistic about this. Insightful as that advice may be, it sounds a little too amorphous and challenging to resonate with today's quick-fix culture. These days, if you can't tell people exactly what to do and how to do it, it falls on deaf ears.
現(xiàn)在我們來實(shí)際一點(diǎn)：建議或許很深刻，但聽完卻讓人無從著手，難以運(yùn)用到當(dāng)今的快節(jié)奏文化中。現(xiàn)如今，如果一個(gè)建議講不清具體做什么、該怎么做的話，那么說了也等于白說。
Not only that, but what Jobs was talking about, what I'm talking about, requires focus and discipline, two things that are very hard to come by these days. Why? Because, focus and discipline are hard. It's so much easier to give in to distraction and instant gratification. Easy and addictive.
不僅如此，喬布斯的講話和我要說的話都需要集中和自制——這兩個(gè)品質(zhì)在當(dāng)今社會(huì)非常難能可貴。何以見得？因?yàn)榧泻妥灾贫疾蝗菀鬃龅�。人們很容易分散注意力、尋求即時(shí)快感——舒服且容易上癮。
To give you a little incentive to take on the challenge, to embark on the road to self-discovery, here are three huge benefits from working to become the best, most genuine version of yourself.
為激勵(lì)你迎接挑戰(zhàn)、踏上尋求自我的旅途，我列出了成為最好最真實(shí)自己后的三大益處：
It will make you happy. Getting to know yourself will make you feel more comfortable in your own skin. It will reduce your stress and anxiety. It will make you a better spouse, a better parent, a better friend. It will make you a better person. Those are all pretty good reasons, if you ask me.
你會(huì)感到快樂。了解自己后會(huì)讓你更愉悅地接受自己，減輕你的壓力和焦慮，使你成為更好的伴侶、父母、朋友，讓你成為一個(gè)更美好的人。這些益處難道不夠說服你為之努力嗎？
Besides, you really won't achieve anything significant in life until you know the real you. Not your brand, your LinkedIn profile, how you come across, or what anyone thinks of you. The genuine you. There's one simple reason why you shouldn't try to be something you're not, and it's that you can't. The real you will come out anyway. So forget your personal brand and start spending time on figuring out who you really are and trying to become the best version of that you can be.
而且，只有了解真實(shí)的自己方能成就大事。你需要了解那個(gè)真實(shí)的你，而不是你的品牌、名譽(yù)、LinkedlIn資料、你的過去抑或他人對(duì)你的看法。為什么你不應(yīng)該過他人的生活？很簡單，因?yàn)槭紫饶悴皇恰捌渌恕�，你的本性總有一天�?huì)現(xiàn)形。所以，請(qǐng)放開你的品牌形象，努力發(fā)掘真實(shí)自我、努力把自己經(jīng)營成最好的自己吧。
美文賞析:愛情不是商品
Love Is Not Like Merchandise
愛情不是商品
A reader in Florida, apparently bruised by some personal experience, writes in to complain, "If I steal a nickel's worth of merchandise, I am a thief and punished; but if I steal the love of another's wife, I am free."
佛羅里達(dá)州的一位讀者顯然是在個(gè)人經(jīng)歷上受過創(chuàng)傷, 他寫信來抱怨道: “如果我偷走了五分錢的商品, 我就是個(gè)賊, 要受到懲罰, 但是如果我偷走了他人妻子的愛情, 我沒事兒。”
This is a prevalent misconception in many people's minds---that love, like merchandise, can be "stolen". Numerous states, in fact, have enacted laws allowing damages for "alienation of affections".
這是許多人心目中普遍存在的一種錯(cuò)誤觀念——愛情, 像商品一樣, 可以 “偷走”。實(shí)際上，許多州都頒布法令，允許索取“情感轉(zhuǎn)讓”賠償金。
But love is not a commodity; the real thing cannot be bought, sold, traded or stolen. It is an act of the will, a turning of the emotions, a change in the climate of the personality.
但是愛情并不是商品；真情實(shí)意不可能買到，賣掉，交換，或者偷走。愛情是志愿的行動(dòng)，是感情的轉(zhuǎn)向，是個(gè)性發(fā)揮上的變化。
When a husband or wife is "stolen" by another person, that husband or wife was already ripe for the stealing, was already predisposed toward a new partner. The "love bandit" was only taking what was waiting to be taken, what wanted to be taken.
當(dāng)丈夫或妻子被另一個(gè)人“偷走”時(shí)，那個(gè)丈夫或妻子就已經(jīng)具備了被偷走的條件，事先已經(jīng)準(zhǔn)備接受新的伴侶了。這位“愛匪”不過是取走等人取走、盼人取走的東西。
We tend to treat persons like goods. We even speak of the children "belonging" to their parents. But nobody "belongs" to anyone else. Each person belongs to himself, and to God. Children are entrusted to their parents, and if their parents do not treat them properly, the state has a right to remove them from their parents' trusteeship.
我們往往待人如物。我們甚至說孩子“屬于”父母。但是誰也不“屬于”誰。人都屬于自己和上帝。孩子是托付給父母的，如果父母不善待他們，州政府就有權(quán)取消父母對(duì)他們的托管身份。
Most of us, when young, had the experience of a sweetheart being taken from us by somebody more attractive and more appealing. At the time, we may have resented this intruder---but as we grew older, we recognized that the sweetheart had never been ours to begin with. It was not the intruder that "caused" the break, but the lack of a real relationship.
我們多數(shù)人年輕時(shí)都有過戀人被某個(gè)更有誘惑力、更有吸引力的人奪去的經(jīng)歷。在當(dāng)時(shí)，我們興許怨恨這位不速之客---但是后來長大了，也就認(rèn)識(shí)到了心上人本來就不屬于我們。并不是不速之客“導(dǎo)致了”決裂，而是缺乏真實(shí)的關(guān)系。
On the surface, many marriages seem to break up because of a "third party". This is, however, a psychological illusion. The other woman or the other man merely serves as a pretext for dissolving a marriage that had already lost its essential integrity.
從表面上看，許多婚姻似乎是因?yàn)橛辛恕暗谌摺辈牌屏训�。然而這是一種心理上的幻覺。另外那個(gè)女人，或者另外那個(gè)男人，無非是作為借口，用來解除早就不是完好無損的婚姻罷了。
Nothing is more futile and more self-defeating than the bitterness of spurned love, the vengeful feeling that someone else has "come between" oneself and a beloved. This is always a distortion of reality, for people are not the captives or victims of others---they are free agents, working out their own destinies for good or for ill.
因失戀而痛苦，因別人“插足”于自己與心上人之間而圖報(bào)復(fù)，是最沒有出息、最自作自受的樂。這種事總是歪曲了事實(shí)真相，因?yàn)檎l都不是給別人當(dāng)俘虜或犧牲品——人都是自由行事的，不論命運(yùn)是好是壞，都由自己來作主。
But the rejected lover or mate cannot afford to believe that his beloved has freely turned away from him--- and so he ascribes sinister or magical properties to the interloper. He calls him a hypnotist or a thief or a home-breaker. In the vast majority of cases, however, when a home is broken, the breaking has begun long before any "third party" has appeared on the scene.
但是，遭離棄的情人或配偶無法相信她的心上人是自由地背離他的——因而他歸咎于插足者心術(shù)不正或迷人有招。他把他叫做催眠師、竊賊或破壞家庭的人。然而，從大多數(shù)事例看，一個(gè)家的破裂，是早在什么“第三者”出現(xiàn)之前就開始了的。
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