寫作文要開門見山地表達自己的觀點
Issue 1
"We can usually learn much more from people whose views we share than from people whose views contradict our own.disagreement can cause stress and inhibit learning。"
Do we learn more from people whose ideas we share in common than from those whose ideas contradict ours? The speaker claims so, for the reason that disagreement can cause stress and inhibit learning.I concede that undue discord can impede learning.Otherwise,in my view we learn far more from discourse and debate with those whose ideas we oppose than from people whose ideas are in accord with our own.
在第一段,作者開門見山地表達自己的觀點——conditionally disagree。這一點值得大家借鑒。但由于寫的倉促,依然有措辭的失誤。
Admittedly, under some circumstances disagreement with others can be counterproductive to learning。 For supporting examples one need look no further than a television set。 On today‘s typical television or radio talk show, disagreement usually manifests itself in meaningless rhetorical bouts and shouting matches, during which opponents vie to have their own message heard, but have little interest either in finding common ground with or in acknowledging the merits of the opponent‘s viewpoint。 Understandably, neither the combatants nor the viewers learn anything meaningful。 In fact, these battles only serve to reinforce the predispositions and biases of all concerned。 The end result is that learning is impeded。
在這第二段,作者作出某種程度的.讓步,注意Admittedly,……的用法,既省事有明了,是gre AWA的典型用法。我們還可以發(fā)掘到作者用了比較多essay的常用詞組,如,look no further than sth。 Manifest itself, have little interest either in…or in…, find common ground with, in acknowledge sth. only serve to…這些用詞均能讓人倍感專業(yè)水平。
Disagreement can also inhibit learning when two opponents disagree on fundamental assumptions needed for meaningful discourse and debate。 For example, a student of paleontology learns little about the evolution of an animal species under current study by debating with an individual whose religious belief system precludes the possibility of evolution to begin with。 And, economics and finance students learn little about the dynamics of a laissez-faire system by debating with a socialist whose view is that a centralized power should control all economic activity。
Issue 2
繼續(xù)舉例,讓觀點豐滿起來,這一點值得借鑒。問題是大家要注意他舉的例子挺有說服力的。
Aside from the foregoing two provisos,however, I fundamentally disagree with the speaker‘s claim. Assuming common ground between two rational and reasonable opponents willing to debate on intellectual merits,both opponents stand to gain much from that debate。 Indeed it is primarily through such debate that human knowledge advances, whether at the personal,community,or global level。
從此段開始展開第一段的觀點。要學習的是一些句型:Aside from the foregoing two provisos,…h(huán)owever,I fundamentally disagree with…; Indeed it is primarily through…that…
At the personal level,by listening to their parents‘ rationale for their seemingly oppressive rules and policies teenagers can learn how certain behaviors naturally carry certain undesirable consequences。At the same time,by listening to their teenagers concerns about autonomy and about peer pressures parents can learn the valuable lesson that effective parenting and control are two different things。At the community level,through dispassionate dialogue an environmental activist can come to understand the legitimate economic concerns of those whose jobs depend on the continued profitable operation of a factory。Conversely,the latter might stand to learn much about the potential public health price to be paid by ensuring job growth and a low unemployment rate。Finally,at the global level, two nations with opposing political or economic interests can reach mutually beneficial agreements by striving to understand the other‘s legitimate concerns for its national security,its political sovereignty,the 3 stability of its economy and currency,and so forth。
此段可謂重點段,所以作者花了重墨稱述觀點,分別從3個層次論述了disagreement的好處。注意它好就好在能從personal, community, global levels較全面地論述,這是最討ets歡心的哦!而且他用了比較多的復扎句,也是拿分的重頭戲。
In sum,unless two opponents in a debate are each willing to play on the same field and by the same rules,I concede that disagreement can impede learning.Otherwise,reasoned discourse and debate between people with opposing viewpoints is the very foundation upon which human knowledge advances.Accordingly,on balance the speaker is fundamentally correct.收尾了!In sum…Unless…, I concede that…Otherwise…upon which…
Accordingly…fundamentally correct.結尾雖倉促,但在如此短的時間內(nèi)寫成這樣,算不錯啦!起碼4.5分!!!